Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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