it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
