I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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