Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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