dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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