I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize