You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
