dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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