just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
