I feel great
I just peed on a car
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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