he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
