Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Please, let me fuck your mom
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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