Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
third nipple confirmed
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
