He kissed a someone with a penis
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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