The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Sext me about skeletons
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
