when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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