Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
