Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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