I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
