I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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