Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
