So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
