Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Randomize
