Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize