I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
