Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I hate all girls vehemently.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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