I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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