Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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