Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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