Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
