He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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