I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
