I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
