Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Acid is not a monday night drug
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
