I think scott just propositioned me for sex
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
