i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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