How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
