The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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