508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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