I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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