Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
