At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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