I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
