I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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