Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
