There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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