Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
