at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
