i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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