I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
