did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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