so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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