so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
how does that bad decision feel?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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