I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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