Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Still dying that you shit outside
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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