i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
