o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
you made out with another girl for some wings
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize