My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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