tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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