you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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