white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
