THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
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Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
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Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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