how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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