Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
