dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize